policymed.comNine years ago I decided to wean off all my meds and take natural supplements instead.

One evening I was fixing a magnesium concoction, chatting with a friend. We were talking about my depression, and this new holistic route I was taking.

“You have everything you need inside you to get better,” she said.

Yeah, I suppose I do, I thought. I mean, why would God create you with some missing pieces?

A few months later my husband found me in our bedroom closet, in a fetal position, unable to move.

I was horribly depressed and hiding from the kids.

He begged me to change courses, to go to Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Clinic for a consultation.

I was stubborn and wouldn’t budge.

I was positive that I had everything within me that I needed to get better.

Then his voice cracked and he started crying.

“Please,” he begged me. “Do this for me.”

So I started taking pills again.

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Therese Borchard
I am a writer and chaplain trying to live a simple life in Annapolis, Maryland.

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6 Responses
  1. Gretchen

    Thank you for this brilliant article, words of wisdom and sensibility. I, too, have come to the realization that I must stay on antidepressants (remeron) and a small amount of nightly ativan at bedtime. I have been on and off medication for several years now and am just not willing to be back in that dark abyss that seems to come out of nowhere when I venture off my medications. Granted, depression symptoms are NOT totally alleviated by my medications, but I am certain I am a hell of a lot better off than without them. And the climb out of the deep abyss once I plummet, is so hard for me. I also supplement my very healthy paleo, sugar free diet with all the usual things for depression: fish oils, evening primrose oil, probiotics, tumeric etc. And… I recently started augmenting my meds and supplements with a cranial stimulation device with great success: the Fischer Wallace Device. I meditate regularly and gently exercise (I have chronic fatigue syndrome, so this is very limited). In any event, all this to say that I so appreciate your post. If those who think that people with depression should get OFF meds (for whatever reason)- if these people spent just 1 day in our brains “on depression”- they WOULD GET IT. But I choose to simply surround myself with the loving and understanding souls who DO understand. Thank you again for your brilliant post. May we all find peace and serenity in our lives, even in the midst of such a challenging and sometimes misunderstood disease. XO


    Medications are like Fire and should be watched, checked and adjusted. Fire can cook your food, warm you and give you light. It can be used as a device to protect you, but it must be monitored as it can hurt you if not attended to..Feeling a particular way is OK. Some things are not all wrong but more right than others. When, in Annapolis, you watch those Naval Cadets sailing there little boats, they can’t go in a straight line but have to tack back and forth to get where they want to be and should be. So do what works for you and tweak/augment it a bit if you feel a need. Your Need. Do whatever works for you.

  3. Tracy G

    So is it the outside influence of what other people think, that puts you off balance regarding taking medication or? Am not sure “Annapolis” has anything to do with anything. Like the voice in your head, you are better off not listening :-). You can’t afford to let them rent space, even though they may have disposable income.

  4. Mother took B-12 A LOT. Mind you, I do not know the extent of her depression. She prayed A LOT as well. The Lives of the Saints prior to medical evolution, they prayed A LOT, suffered A LOT and lived through it all, mind you there was no medication nor vitamin supplements. Supplements are good but one must consume plenty of them. I did. Finding the right medication helped me A LOT. But of course, anything that we consume will have an “adverse” effect supplements included.

  5. Joe


    Your blog and works are life giving and have provided me hope in the past.

    Presently, I’m deeply troubled with my treatment resistant major depression and GAD, having recently lost my job and now pending divorce what I once thought was brokenness is now deep despair. Having tried 6 or 7 different antidepressants in the past which caused more harm than benefit then doing TMS therapy last year which did NOT help me, has proven hugely disappointing.

    I don’t know how to relieve my frustration , anger, shame, flat out fatigue and hopelessness. I need to fight but feel like I’m on a sinking ship and no life vest. Living in a constant dark and stressful state and no relief is making matters Worse.

    Working to stay grounded please pray for me. I thank and praise God for finding your blog. Please continue your valuable work to shed light on this dreaded illness.