I want to thank all my readers for the outpouring of support. It has meant more to me than you know. There is so much to say, and I’m not sure how to say all of it, so I will try to tackle it bit by bit. My acute series of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) was […]
There is what I call the traditional, Dwayne-Johnson-ish kind of strength – the “I got this,” “pain can’t stop me,” “just keep going” kind of resolve. I tapped into my reserve of this kind of strength in Spain. I constantly redirected negative intrusive thoughts, telling myself that they were just stories in my head. I […]
Twelve years ago my voice joined the chorus of whiners griping about the evil ways of Big Pharma. I agreed with those accusing pharmaceutical companies of profiting from the weak and taking advantage of the sick. I uttered an Amen when reading angry editorials lambasting pharma reps for pushing drugs on vulnerable peeps to meet […]
Over the weekend, my husband and I participated in a marriage retreat. We were given many writing assignments. The last one was to answer the question “Why do I want to go on living?” The following is what I wrote. Three months ago, I sat at this same desk, in a small, private room at […]
According to Cigna’s U.S. Loneliness Index, nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feel alone. A quarter of Americans rarely or never feel as though there are people that understand them, and a fifth report they rarely or never feel close to people. The report says that finding a balance of work, exercise, sleep, […]
Shortly after the death of Robin Williams I wrote a post called What I Wish People Knew About Depression. It was a small effort to chip away at the stigma associated with depression and to raise awareness of the complexities inherent to mood disorders. I have expounded on those statements here and rearranged them to read […]
I recently solicited feedback for a book proposal from a few friends. All of them expressed the same concern: My voice was lost in all the expert quotes. Each chapter summary featured excerpts from bestselling authors, famous psychologists, and notable philosophers. My intention was to ground my points in research and add legitimacy to my […]
I am big on gratitude. Let me say that upfront. Study after study on gratitude shows how simple exercises of appreciation build emotional resilience, improve our relationships, and promote our well-being. Gratitude researchers like Martin Seligman, PhD, director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia; Robert Emmons, PhD, director of the Emmons Lab on gratitude research at the University of California in Davis; […]
In her book, Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff, Ph.D. offers a beautiful mantra she developed to help her deal with negative emotions, a reminder to treat herself with self-compassion when discomfort arises: “This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the […]
Mahatma Gandhi once said, “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.” In the last few months, I have been trying to follow Gandhi’s example by presenting God with all of my humiliations, rejections, and shortcomings and to […]
Dear Suicidal Person, I write this in the midst of suicidal ideations myself. I’ve been battling them off and on over the last six months. They were so intense in August I was almost hospitalized and again last week. In the recent past, I haven’t publicized my struggle because I didn’t want those around me […]
Someone in recovery circles once told me that if you have one foot in the past and another in the future, you are essentially peeing on the present. I try to remember that when I’m engulfed in regret—obsessing about all the things I did wrong in the past and wishing to God I had made […]
I thought I had it all figured out. I even had a book title picked out: Whole-ish — On Healing Myself Naturally from Depression and My Messy Path to Well. And I had outlined some of the chapters: Why restoring your gut health and generating good intestinal bacteria will improve mood The science behind optimal […]
The standard advice you’ll hear if you express suicidal thoughts is to call a suicide hotline or check yourself into the hospital. Trained volunteers, such as those at The Samaritans, provide an invaluable service to severely depressed people who call or email them in desperation. But for some of us, suicidal thoughts can be present for many […]
For anyone who has ever been debilitated by severe depression, there is nothing more frightening than the feeling that he or she is relapsing into another episode. We chalk up the first few days of angst to a bad stretch and hope it gets better from there. But by the time we have hit six […]
“Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination,” said the 19th century writer Christian Nevell Bovee. As everyone who has ever experienced a panic attack knows, there is nothing imaginary about the way you feel. I have tried to convince my husband on countless occasions, in […]
Every once in a while I pull out my one-year sobriety chip, which reads on the front, “To Thine Own Self Be True.” I have been sober for over 26 years now, but it was my one-year chip that meant the most to me, because during that first year I realized how difficult it is […]
Ever since I started an online community and foundation for treatment-resistant depression—depression and anxiety that doesn’t respond to psychotropic medications—I’ve been inundated with mail from desperate people who have tried 30 and 40 different kinds of antidepressants and feel no relief. I repeatedly hear from family members of folks who have tried everything and are […]
This post is from my archives. I speak about taking my health in a new direction, but if you suffer from severe mental illness (including episodes of psychosis and dangerous mania), please consult your physician before making any changes. My story is just one story. It is not yours. There comes a moment in every person’s life when […]
I keep going back to this quote by Vivian Greene when it comes to learning how to live with my chronic illness: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” In fact, every morning I drink out of a mug with that quote on it […]
