Favorite Posts
Faith Can Heal Depression But Don’t Stop Taking Your Meds
What You Build in Darkness

There’s a great e-card that reads: “Dear whatever doesn’t kill me, I’m strong enough now. Thanks.” It was the second most-liked item I posted on my Facebook page. The first was a quote by William Gibson: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by […]
What Suicidal Depression Feels Like

I don’t know if you have noticed, but ever since Robin Williams died, I have removed the filter from my writing that keeps me safe of jaw dropping, disappointing head gestures, and all kinds of judgments that authentic writing invites. I just really don’t care anymore what people think because lives are at stake. If […]
Robin Williams: A Terribly Real Thing in a Terribly False World

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” That quote belongs in Emilie Autumn’s psychological thriller novel, “The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.” It’s the essence, I think, of Robin Williams. He was so real—so passionate, brilliant, empathetic, […]
What’s the Meaning of Your Life?

In his classic bestseller, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” psychiatrist and holocaust-survivor Viktor Frankl explains that among the first things that he had to do once he arrived at Auschwitz was to surrender his clothes. This is humbling in itself, of course. But this was extraordinarily painful for Frankl, because in the jacket of his coat […]
Why Real Love Is Hard Work

A month into our relationship, my now-husband asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I didn’t hesitate. “As a nun in a third-world country doing missionary work,” I said. “Interesting.” Somewhere around that time I also told him it would be five years before I slept with him. It was the quickest […]
Should You Dare to Be Yourself?
What I Wish People Knew About Depression

Someone recently asked me to write on what I wish people knew about depression, in light of Robin William’s suicide. Here’s my response. I wish people knew that depression is complex, that it is a physiological condition with psychological and spiritual components, and therefore can’t be forced into any neat and tidy box, that healing […]
8 Ways to Live With Chronic Illness

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain,” wrote Vivian Greene. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow,” wrote Mary Anne Radmacher. These are two of my favorite quotes about living with […]
Room for Misery and Room for Joy: My Story

Most people who have been sober longer than a year are asked to give a “lead”—to tell their story. Mine was structurally simple, covering what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. Having only drank for three years, my addiction story is pretty straightforward: I stopped guzzling down mood-altering beverages. My depression […]
Happiness Is a Choice … Mostly
A Zen Approach to Depression

In his book, “Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart,” psychiatrist Mark Epstein, M.D. tells the famous Buddhist story of Kisagotami and the mustard seed: A young woman named Kisagotami lost her only child to illness around the time of his first birthday. Bereft, she went from house to house in her village, clasping the dead […]
The Paralysis of Analysis: On Overthinking
On Losing Self-Blame and the Pressure to Feel Joy
I Can’t Believe He Hasn’t Left You: The Other Person Behind a Chronic Illness
9 Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member with Depression
There Is a Cure For Bitterness

The classic poem “Desiderata” says that if you compare yourself to others you will either become vain or bitter. I don’t worry about becoming vain—as my self-esteem is still beneath sea level. But bitterness? That one had a hold of me last weekend. I reached out to a guy with whom I was in regular […]
10 Things I Do Every Day to Beat Depression

From the moment my eyes open in the morning until the second that I pull my sleep mask over my face as I go to sleep, I am engaged in battle: I must protect myself with armor against ongoing negative intrusive thoughts that flood into my brain, while sending my prefrontal cortex–the home of logical […]
On Rejecting the False Promise, 25 Years Later

I used to think once you put down the drink you were fixed, that once you conjured up the courage to quit your addiction, the hard work was over. But addicts are never really cured. Like cancer survivors, they simply stay in remission for the duration of their lives. There is always a person, place, […]