Confessions of a Stage-Four People-Pleaser


zen cat anyaMy junior year of college, I bought a used computer for $100. It was cheap because the thing was as huge as it was heavy. The challenge was to walk with this cumbersome piece of technology across campus to my dorm. I was finally to the steps of Holy Cross Hall when I tripped and fell flat on my face.

Did I issue a four-letter word?

Of course not.

I apologized.

To the student who was on the stairs staring at me.

“Why are you apologizing to me?” She asked.

“Because … I’m an adult child of an alcoholic?”

I always think about this story as I prepare my apology for, say, breathing, eating, sneezing, sleeping, talking, existing.

I desperately want everyone’s approval, not excluding the Fed Ex guy, the bank teller, the barista, the technical support person for

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Therese Borchard
I am a writer and chaplain trying to live a simple life in Annapolis, Maryland.

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3 Responses
  1. Shanti

    I am like this. I apologies easly. Do I do this to please people? Or is it more just a habit? After all these years I don’t know which one it is. Oh, well it beats arrogance day.

    My daughter had never apologied. She screamed & cries if we ever questiond her instead of apologizing. She now is doing this with her husband. I feel in the end we all know the truth & it’s our guilt that gets us so worked up & crazd. Lies has a way of catching up…. Wonder what all this leads to. She says she can’t sleep at nights.