I’ve posted this prayer by Thomas Merton before, but it has brought me such comfort in the last few weeks that I wanted to share it all with you again.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Originally published on Beyond Blue at Beliefnet.com
Therese,
It is a beautiful prayer, and one that expresses my thoughts exactly. Thank you for posting it.
You are in my prayers often.
Dear Therese, I have been reading you for quite a while, first at Beyond Blue, also your book, now here. You have provided so many of us with good research, your personal experience well and humorously presented, and realistic hope. I have struggled with depression since my earliest memories; I am now in my sixties. You have written lately of going into the depths again. It is so wearying. What I know from my long experience is that I can, I will, get through this. Every pass through brings changes and gifts. For me, they become subtler and more count-on-able. I am not a person who often feels the presence of God or finds much relief in prayer (my failing no doubt). That I do come through, that I have enough experience to be able to find humor in the routine and predictability of my struggle, that my basic self is more and more revealed to be something I can be comfortable with, that compassion and caring for others grows, that there are things I can count on ~ including my depression!, but also music, poetry, art, interaction (no matter how basic) with others, the hardness of rocks, the thought that the sky is blue no matter the sky cover ~ these things are signs of God’s presence in my life. And there is you. You are brave. You persevere. You are generous in sharing your experience, strength and hope (good old 12 Steps). You are honest and funny. Gratitude has become a big part of my ongoing recovery, and this seems a good time to thank you for helping me when I am caught, when I know it’s coming on, as well as when I’m feeling well and able to prepare for the inevitable. Thank you, Therese. May grace, peace and humor accompany you on this round through!
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Therese, you are a sign of Grace and Goodness. Your labor of love is a testament to things seen and unseen, to all that is Good. You remind me of “the Big Three”: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. You rock.
Thank you, Kevin.
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Theresa, thank you for your thoughts and words. I’m reading your book, Pocket Therapist. The words on the pages jump out at me because they are so familiar. I’m in the midst of a depression and need your words desperately.