I wrote the following letter as a response to a conversation with a friend I have known since college. She wondered why I used the term “death thoughts” in my writing. But I wanted to publish it for all of the people closest to me, who have never seen me wail from the hollow place...

The other day a child psychologist was telling me about a very rigid, perfectionistic patient of hers. “I want to control what other people are thinking,” the patient explained. “How do you think you are going to do that?” the therapist responded. The 11 year-old brainstormed but couldn’t come up with a solution. Finally the...

One autumn morning in 2005, I dropped my kids off at preschool and immediately broke down in tears. Pushing an empty double stroller down a few houses to avoid the other preschool moms, I dialed up the number of my writing (and life) mentor and dear friend, Mike Leach. I stayed there, on the sidewalk,...

A month into our relationship, my now-husband asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I didn’t hesitate. “As a nun in a third-world country doing missionary work,” I said. “Interesting.” Somewhere around that time I also told him it would be five years before I slept with him. It was the quickest...

Sometimes bad boundaries can disguise themselves as compassion. I didn’t realize this until eight or nine years into therapy. I always thought I opened my arms for anyone and everyone who needed help because of my years training to be a nun, as my responsibility to “let peace begin with me,” the final refrain to...