A compulsive shopper is as impossible to identify during the holidays as a sober person at a fraternity party. Step into any department store and you’re guaranteed to spot a half-dozen shopping carts loaded with designer sweaters, fine jewelry, stylish boots, and dark chocolate. In a recent Psych Central blog, licensed psychologist Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., addresses the problem of compulsive shopping in the month of December.
First she lists seven signs of compulsive shopping:
- Shopping for things you don’t need with money you don’t have.
- Shopping in excess—200 watches, 400 pairs of shoes.
- Shopping only to return, give away or not use items purchased.
- Shopping or spending at the cost of family, job or pursuit of other life experiences.
- Shopping that leaves you feeling upset, guilty, or ashamed.
- Shopping that leads to serious financial or legal problems.
- Shopping that impacts your life in an increasingly negative way but which— you can’t stop!
When does shopping become an addiction? According to Phillips it is has little or nothing to do with the items that are purchased or the painful receipt accompanying them. It has more to do with the reason why a person pulls out the credit card in the first place. Compulsive shopping occurs when people use shopping as a means to fix, process, or placate negative feelings. The cycle of addiction is consistent with gambling, binge drinking, and other addictive behaviors: the anticipation, the preparation and build up, the action that produces feelings of elation and euphoria, and then the let-down involving much disappointment, regret, and shame.
Phillips poses these questions to help a person determine if he or she is a compulsive shopper:
- Are you shopping to emotionally feel better – less sad, depressed, bored, lonely etc.?
- Are you shopping to avoid responsibilities?
- Are you shopping to ensure the love of others?
- Are you shopping to release anger?
- Are you shopping to fit an image as a way to boost self-esteem?
- Are you shopping to repair the loss of trauma?
- Are you shopping to find meaning in life, etc.?
Let’s say you answered yes to some or all of those. Now what? What the heck are you supposed to do between now and the hour Santa returns to the North Pole? Hide behind locked doors eating candy canes with hot chocolate? I especially liked Phillip’s tips on how to cope with holiday shopping:
- Be mindful of the pressures to purchase that bombard you in every mall and on every social media and avoid those places that are most difficult for you.
- Make a plan of what you need to purchase and stick to it.
- Avoid shopping when upset, tired or dealing with a problem.
- Get rid of credit cards and checkbooks that make compulsive shopping possible.
- Shop with a buddy who can help you limit excessive or inappropriate spending.
- Fill your holiday with memorable and enjoyable experiences that have nothing to do with shopping.
Originally published on Sanity Break at EverydayHealth.com.
Originally published on Sanity Break at EverydayHealth.com
Thank you Therese.
Signs and symptoms of mental illness can vary, depending on the particular disorder, circumstances and other factors. Mental illness symptoms can affect emotions, thoughts and behaviors bring the worst out in people.
Examples of signs and symptoms include:
Feeling sad or down
Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping
Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate
Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
Excessive jealousy & lying
Estrangement from parents & family
Withdrawal from friends and activities.
Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations
Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
Compulsive shopping on line or in shopping malls
Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
Alcohol or drug abuse
Major changes in eating habits
Sex drive changes
Excessive anger, hostility or violence
Crying, accusing others
Hi Therese. Do you have a post on loving yourself more that you could forward to me? I would be very grateful. You are amazing. Thanks Liz
Sent from my iPhone
Here’s one that hints at it: http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/the-path-to-true-compassion/
oh! and this one: http://thereseborchardblog.com/2014/09/22/8-steps-to-like-yourself-more/
Thanks for your comment!