None of us like to fail. But some of us find it especially difficult to rebound from a mistake. We beat ourselves up for months, even years, rehashing our blunder. We ruminate about what we could have done differently. We are stuck on what we lost. However, with time, we often discover that our failures […]
For Valentine’s Day I was going to post “A Recipe for Married Life” by Anthony Coniaris that a reader recently sent me. Its wise bits include: An exhaustive study of police records showed that no woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. Learn to serve each other in humility and love. […]
Twelve years ago my voice joined the chorus of whiners griping about the evil ways of Big Pharma. I agreed with those accusing pharmaceutical companies of profiting from the weak and taking advantage of the sick. I uttered an Amen when reading angry editorials lambasting pharma reps for pushing drugs on vulnerable peeps to meet […]
Last week I picked up a part-time job at a dress shop in downtown Annapolis. Some would say that this gig makes absolutely no sense. It doesn’t advance my career as a mental health writer and consultant. I have no retail experience whatsoever. My compensation as a sales associate hardly matches what I was making […]
I was in fifth grade when I learned the power of heavenly signs. My parents had just separated and my mother was despondent. She was praying a novena to St. Therese the Little Flower, whom I am named after. Tradition holds that on the fifth day of the novena, the person praying will receive a […]
Over the weekend, my husband and I participated in a marriage retreat. We were given many writing assignments. The last one was to answer the question “Why do I want to go on living?” The following is what I wrote. Three months ago, I sat at this same desk, in a small, private room at […]
A friend of mine posted the following reflection by her nephew in Group Beyond Blue, an online depression community on Facebook. I asked her if I could share it here because 1) I think it’s important to be reminded that life and light do return after debilitating symptoms, and 2) it’s refreshing to hear a […]
I sprouted early as a kid. In the fourth grade, I towered over many of my classmates, and especially over my two best friends. Lining up for school processions, they gathered at the beginning of the line, while I was the second or third person from the last. I recall one Saturday afternoon coming back […]
According to Cigna’s U.S. Loneliness Index, nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feel alone. A quarter of Americans rarely or never feel as though there are people that understand them, and a fifth report they rarely or never feel close to people. The report says that finding a balance of work, exercise, sleep, […]
I publish a variation of this article every year on January 24 because it seems to make people feel better. The Axis of Evil According to Dr. Cliff Arnalls, a British psychologist with Cardiff University, a number of factors coincide to make January 24th the most depressing day of the year: It’s dark. Not as […]
In the fourth grade, my grandmother sewed Halloween costumes for me and my twin sister. I went as a nun and she as a jailbreaker. The costumes were appropriate then and for the next three decades. I followed every rule and she broke them. At age two, when she was still in diapers, she packed […]
Shortly after the death of Robin Williams I wrote a post called What I Wish People Knew About Depression. It was a small effort to chip away at the stigma associated with depression and to raise awareness of the complexities inherent to mood disorders. I have expounded on those statements here and rearranged them to read […]
I recently solicited feedback for a book proposal from a few friends. All of them expressed the same concern: My voice was lost in all the expert quotes. Each chapter summary featured excerpts from bestselling authors, famous psychologists, and notable philosophers. My intention was to ground my points in research and add legitimacy to my […]
As I’ve said in a prior post, I have decided to write more this year. Among the sites to which I will be contributing are HealthCentral, PsychCentral, and Guideposts. I will post some of my pieces here. Following is the link to one of my first pieces for PsychCentral: questions that will help you create change […]
Several people have written to me lately to say they are in a debilitating depression and are running out of hope. I thought I’d share a message of hope with them and with everyone who is currently battling the beast. Dear Depressed Person, I know that you can’t feel anything. You might not even be […]
When I was in graduate school studying theology at Notre Dame, I worked with a priest on a video project. One day he told me to look at the new 3-D poster on his wall and tell me what I saw. “Dots,” I said. “Lots of dots.” “Look harder,” he said. “Now what do you […]
In a recent Guideposts article, I compared the year of 2018 to the worst English paper I ever turned in, on the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. Totally uninspired, I began each sentence with “Mary Todd Lincoln” and earned a D. The great thing about a new year, though, is that you begin fresh with […]
I’ve noticed a pattern to my attitude about starting a new year. The harder the year prior, the more I look forward to January 1. It’s like turning in a really bad English paper and getting to start over on a new assignment. A blank page and a new year give us the one ingredient […]
George Burns once said: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.” That would explain why the holidays are so stressful. Those dear relatives who live in San Francisco suddenly are lingering in front of your refrigerator in Cincinnati and you have to figure out a socially acceptable way of setting […]
I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Terry Gilberg, host of Think! America national radio show last week about strategies to combat holiday depression. I mostly focused on the first point of my seven strategies below, to allow yourself to feel all the emotions of the holidays, not excluding sadness. For highly-sensitive folks and […]
