In order to “graduate” from the outpatient psychiatric program of Laurel Hospital in Maryland, we had demonstrate a certain level of competence at assertion skills or confrontation. It’s no wonder why it took me three times longer to be discharged than the other patients. One day an older woman sat in the middle of the […]
There is a Cherokee legend about an elderly Cherokee brave who tells his grandson about life. “Son,” he says, “Within all of us there is a battle of two wolves. One is evil. He is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. He continued, “The […]
“I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders,” says a Jewish proverb. A member of my online depression group, Project Beyond Blue, posted it today. I asked them for ways they cope with the limitations of depression because I needed inspiration. My kids have had maybe eight full days of school since […]
Dear Readers, As some of you may know, I created Beyond Blue Foundation last year, a registered 501c3 public charity (all contributions are tax deductible), that provides support to persons with chronic mood disorders. In the 10 years I’ve spent writing and researching mental health issues, I have received thousands of emails and letters from […]
Last year, I was seeing four different doctors: a psychiatrist for my mood disorder; an endocrinologist for my pituitary tumor and thyroid issues; a cardiologist for my aortic valve regurgitation; and a primary care physician for some digestive problems and fungus growth. I suspected that all of my health problems were connected but each doctor […]
According to renowned psychiatrist Peter Kramer, happiness isn’t the opposite of depression. Resilience is. I’ve always loved that reminder because the word “happiness” makes me uneasy. It’s not that I want to be unhappy, or I don’t want to be happy. It’s that every time I make happiness my goal, I become very unhappy. Like […]
Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines the word “snap” as: to grasp at something eagerly; make a pounce or snatch; to bark out irritable or peevish retorts; to undergo a sudden and rapid change. I wanted to make sure that is, in fact, what happened yesterday toward the end of my run at the Naval Academy. My […]
I like to repost this article written by a reader, Dania, every Lent. There is a dark smudge on my forehead. I am acutely aware of it. It feels kinda slimy. And people notice. This year, I’m not sure I want them to. There are plenty of years I’ve wanted people to notice the ashes […]
This year my husband and I have lost both of our Labrator-Chow mixes They were 14 years old, so we knew it was coming, but you’re never really ready for that feeling of emptiness or hollowness you feel when they leave your life. Only then do you realize how much they gave to you. Dogs, of course, are good […]
In the fall of 2007 Mother Teresa graced the cover of Time magazine when her private writings were published, many of the excerpts filled with surprising doubt, despair, and a kind of spiritual anguish. Some journalists questioned whether or not she was clinically depressed. Did this modern saint have an untreated mood disorder or did her pain […]
A year ago this month my husband and I started a new diet. It had nothing to do with a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. For about nine months, he had been suffering from bad hives all over his body. It was bizarre. One day he’d wake up and they’d be all over his […]
The Internal Revenue Service sent me an early Valentine’s Day gift! Beyond Blue Foundation is now an official public charity with 501(c)(3) status, which means all contributions are tax deductible!! I will have a website up soon, but if you’d like to make a contribution, you can write a check directly to Beyond Blue Foundation […]
“Beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.” That was the password to the file share (motherboard) at the technology company where I used to work. I was expecting, “Cloud123,” or something boring and bland like that. Not the quintessential Japanese aesthetic known as “wabi-sabi.” I shed a tear or two when the engineer setting up […]
I’m not sure why more psychiatrists don’t first test for nutritional deficiencies before dispensing Zoloft or Prozac, and especially antipsychotics like Seroquel and Zyprexa. The good ones will send you to get lab work done before upping your meds or adjusting anything. Sometimes we do need antidepressants. But other times we need spinach—think of Popeye. […]
The Ebola crisis. Malaysia Airlines Flight 17. ISIS. It doesn’t take much these days to arrive at a panicked state. Not if you stay abreast of news headlines. Nine years ago, when I had my first mental health breakdown, I realized that my psyche was way too fragile to absorb detailed updates about the turmoil […]
Last time I wrote a blog like this, I was called a “whiny, white woman,” but I’m not going to let that stop me from spouting off again. Having just seen the movie, “Unbroken,” I really feel like I can’t complain. I don’t have some bastard tormenting every day for giggles in a POW camp. […]
Every year, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation holds a Fail Fest, where they celebrate a valuable lesson they learned while investing moneys into a loser organization that has absolutely bombed . According to this brilliant team, failure is chock full of wisdom—one of the most effective way to absorb key insights—so it’s best to […]
Sorry to everyone who tried to join my online community Project Beyond Blue yesterday and this morning. We maxed out at 1000 members, and I needed to upgrade the plan before new members were allowed. Ning is a little like the government in that they don’t take calls during the weekend or before noon on […]
“Live to the point of tears,” said Camus. That’s not so hard if you have treatment-resistant depression or any kind of chronic mood disorder. You learn to take Kleenex with you wherever you go. In the middle of a depressive episode, especially, it happens as naturally as sneezing or blowing your nose. Two or three […]
