“Do you WANT to get better?” a family member asked me a few weeks after I graduated from the psych ward in 2005. I was furious and hurt. Because it was just one of many insensitive comments that seem to imply that I was causing my illness. So when a woman in the online depression […]
One autumn morning in 2005, I dropped my kids off at preschool and immediately broke down in tears. Pushing an empty double stroller down a few houses to avoid the other preschool moms, I dialed up the number of my writing (and life) mentor and dear friend, Mike Leach. I stayed there, on the sidewalk, […]
Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines the word “snap” as: to grasp at something eagerly; make a pounce or snatch; to bark out irritable or peevish retorts; to undergo a sudden and rapid change. I wanted to make sure that is, in fact, what happened yesterday toward the end of my run at the Naval Academy. My […]
“Beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.” That was the password to the file share (motherboard) at the technology company where I used to work. I was expecting, “Cloud123,” or something boring and bland like that. Not the quintessential Japanese aesthetic known as “wabi-sabi.” I shed a tear or two when the engineer setting up […]
My junior year of college, I bought a used computer for $100. It was cheap because the thing was as huge as it was heavy. The challenge was to walk with this cumbersome piece of technology across campus to my dorm. I was finally to the steps of Holy Cross Hall when I tripped and […]
“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” That quote belongs in Emilie Autumn’s psychological thriller novel, “The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.” It’s the essence, I think, of Robin Williams. He was so real—so passionate, brilliant, empathetic, […]
My husband and I had to put down our Labrator-Chow mix this morning. He did exactly what his sister did nine months ago: went out to our backyard on a cold and rainy night and just stood there, with his tail down, and wouldn’t come back in. It’s as if they both knew it was […]
I’m not sure why more psychiatrists don’t first test for nutritional deficiencies before dispensing Zoloft or Prozac, and especially antipsychotics like Seroquel and Zyprexa. The good ones will send you to get lab work done before upping your meds or adjusting anything. Sometimes we do need antidepressants. But other times we need spinach—think of Popeye. […]
There is nothing that has as powerful and lasting impact on mood as sleep. Sleep disruption messes with circadian rhythms, the 24-hour clock system wired into our brain that governs fluctuations in body temperature and the secretion of several hormones. While there has always been some data to suggest that sleep deprivation may increase a […]
I grew up thinking depression was as simple as one little transmitter getting lost somewhere on his way from one neuron to the other, much like I do when I venture further than five miles from home. It’s an easy explanation–a chemical imbalance in the brain–one that pharmaceutical companies have adopted to craft creative commercials […]
The Ebola crisis. Malaysia Airlines Flight 17. ISIS. It doesn’t take much these days to arrive at a panicked state. Not if you stay abreast of news headlines. Nine years ago, when I had my first mental health breakdown, I realized that my psyche was way too fragile to absorb detailed updates about the turmoil […]
In his classic bestseller, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” psychiatrist and holocaust-survivor Viktor Frankl explains that among the first things that he had to do once he arrived at Auschwitz was to surrender his clothes. This is humbling in itself, of course. But this was extraordinarily painful for Frankl, because in the jacket of his coat […]
“Each depression,” some wise person told me, “has it’s own gift.” I didn’t understand at that moment. But now I do. My first breakdown shattered my pride so that I could write from the heart. My second depression shattered my bitterness, so that I could learn to connect with others who feel pain like I […]
You’d never suspect this by listening to pharmaceutical ads, but only one-third of people with major depression get better after trying an antidepressant. The others go on to try different drugs, or combinations of medicine and psychotherapy, and usually seven in 10 achieve remission. The other third? They are labeled with the three most dreaded […]
Every year, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation holds a Fail Fest, where they celebrate a valuable lesson they learned while investing moneys into a loser organization that has absolutely bombed . According to this brilliant team, failure is chock full of wisdom—one of the most effective way to absorb key insights—so it’s best to […]
