5 Things To Do When You Feel Insecure

insecurity

German psychoanalyst Eric Fromm said, “The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” Everyone I have ever known—I take that back—every likeable person I have ever known in this world has admitted to periods of sheer insecurity. They looked at themselves from the perspective […]

A Bad Night’s Sleep Causes Fighting in Couples

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One of the best pieces of marriage advice I heard before walking down the aisle was a nugget of wisdom that’s been circulating rooms of 12-step support meetings for years: before you open you’re mouth, consider whether you’re HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired). In our house, the sleeplessness has been the biggest culprit toward needless bickering […]

Just Say No: 10 Steps to Better Boundaries

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Up until recently, “No” was dirty word to me. As a stage-four people-pleaser, my vocabulary was rich with affirmatives: “yeah,” “sure,” “okay,” “absolutely,” “no problem.” But my mouth just couldn’t seem to form the consonant-vowel combination required to say “No,” even when “Yes” was simply impossible due to time conficts or just an overdose of […]

6 Ways to Cope With Rejection

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Your husband ditches you for a girl half his age after 23 years of marriage. The tenth job interview you’ve been on results in another ding letter. Your friends get together for a beer and don’t extend an invitation to you. We all endure rejection, but for us sensitive types, it can be devastating and […]

The Stupid Complex

The Stupid Complex

Nowhere in the DSM-IV does it mention “the stupid complex,” but I’m telling you it’s an epidemic these days. I used to suffer in silence. But ever since I’ve come out of the closet, I swear I find a fellow sufferer every day. At my last therapy session, I was telling her how scared I […]

9 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

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According to Peggy Vaugn, the author of “The Monogamy Myth” and the website “Dear Peggy.com,” 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who stays monogamous within her marriage is among a growing minority. Twelve years into my marriage, […]

Being Married to a Person with Depression or Bipolar: 6 Survival Tips

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Some sobering statistics:Depression has a much greater impact on marital life than rheumatoid arthritis or cardiac disease. Ninety percent of marriages where one person isbipolar ends in divorce. Persons diagnosed with bipolar disorder have three times the rate of divorce as the general public, which is about 50 percent. This is all to communicate this message: marriages […]

5 Things To Do When You Feel Insecure

ways-to-stop-worrying

German psychoanalyst Eric Fromm said, “The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” Everyone I have ever known—I take that back—every likeable person I have ever known in this world has admitted to periods of sheer insecurity. They looked at themselves from the perspective of someone […]

Staying Together (Despite the Kids)

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Awhile back my friend Michelle said to the congregation at her husband’s funeral service: “He never spoke an unkind word to me.”   Another girlfriend and I looked at each other, jaws dropped. And then she whispered, “They didn’t have kids.” We nodded and felt better about ourselves. But a growing body of research confirms […]