I’m Keeping Part of My Journey to Myself From Now On

Dear Readers,

After getting still more mail that I may be responsible for someone’s suicide by talking about my own journey with medication and their limitations, I’ve decided not to publish any more about my experience in that regard. I’m going to stick to general self-help pieces and things that help me, but keep the personal aspects of my journey to myself.

I think that may be the more responsible thing to do.

Thanks,

Therese

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101 thoughts on “I’m Keeping Part of My Journey to Myself From Now On

  1. Therese,
    I am so very sorry someone would stoop to that. You are in NO way to be blamed for what anyone else chooses to do. All of us are dealing with a difficult illness or illnesses and the support I have found from your writings has been excellent. I purchased and read your 2 books and found them to be some of my most hopeful and helpful (please let me know if you have published any others).
    Please don’t “own” this and allow it to affect your health. I need you.

    Sheri

    1. Dear Therese,

      I am sorry to hear this, your words have helped me more than you know. Your experiences are my experiences that I could never communicate the way you do. I am grateful for your honestly and trust. I usually get the Everyday health emails at night when my demons are alive and strong and I just love reading and re-reading the posts that you have written for them, they give me hope as does this site. Thank you. I have never commented ever, but this seemed so important. Thank you again. Elizabeth

  2. Thank you for all of your work trying to give those of us who are struggling some hope. We are all responsible for ourselves. Thank you for what you do. I take what speaks to me and leave the rest but appreciate your words, experience, and your insight!
    Fondly,
    Melinda

  3. You are not at fault. When we are there facing that choice, it is ours to own. I love your posts and its a great relief to me to know I am not alone. Do not let this remove light from your life. It is not your fault.

  4. I whole heartedly agree with Sheri Chandler!
    Therese, you have helped more people than you will ever truly know & sadly, there will always be those that are negative & will blame you as they refuse to accept responsibility for their owns actions.
    Bottom line is that you’ve dedicated your life to helping others who have similar struggles & that’s the most important thing!!
    From one of the many people who have benefitted from you sharing your battles, I thank you!

  5. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. You did NOT cause anyone to commit sucide whoever said you did needs help. So grateful for your web site.
    Thank you
    Pat

  6. I couldn’t agree more with Sheri. I am so sorry to hear about this situation. I couldn’t put it all into words but Sheri said it all. Therese, you have been very brave to put into words what you have gone through. I felt like I was not alone to hear what you described. I was also moved by your book, and the book you recommended- The Highly Sensitive Person. I learned so much about myself from reading that.

    Even the article “7 ways to survive your vacation”, the first thing I ever read by you, and read it out loud to my husband – he thought I was just making it up and I was trying to tell him something about myself because it sounded so exactly like my problems on vacation.

    And lastly, the description and explanation of “death thoughts” floored me! I never could admit thoughts like that to anyone because I was so ashamed and felt guilty, and thought “how can I be a Christian and think this way?”

    Please don’t blame yourself for this tragedy because you are an inspiration. I understand if you want to withdraw from sharing such deep feelings, but I do want to thank you for what you have shared in the past, and for setting up this wonderful forum.
    God Bless You,
    Teri

  7. Therese,
    I am so sorry that someone chose to point the finger and blame you for something that you had no hand in. I have struggled with major depression for almost 15 years and felt hope and strength when I found your blog. Your writings helped me to see that I was not alone. All that I have gained from your openness, honesty and courage to share has been a blessing to me and I am confident that I speak for so many others. I have been meaning to write to you for sometime now and am sorry it took something like this but glad I am finally writing to you.
    Sometimes when people are hurt, they choose to look for someone or something to blame and they are not thinking logically.
    To me you are a light and a brave, compassionate, giving soul who should keep sharing all that is real and true to you.
    Fondly from a friend, ally and supporter,
    Marci K.

    1. We all end up making our own choices no matter what someone writes reads says or does to us. You Therese have always only shared from the heart. You keep breaking the myth of mental illness Much love

  8. Therese, I’m so sorry to hear about all the awful mail you have been getting. Ultimately I believe that suicide is a personal choice and you can’t be responsible for someone else’s by writing about your own experiences. I have read your writing for years and your book “Beyond Blue” offered me hope, let me know I was not alone and while some days would be a struggle, I learned I could keep going forward. I appreciated hearing about your struggles with “death thoughts” because l knew you got it, not because you researched depression but you get it on a visceral level. I don’t think you can have a group of depressed suicidal people together without having someone make the decision to commit suicide. It’s not your responsbility but l also know that no matter how many people reassure you that it is not your fault, it only takes one letter to say otherwise to be devastating. Im sorry that you have to carry this in addition to everything else. I know we’ve never met but if there is anything I can do. You have done a brave thing by sharing and saved more lives than you will ever know. Hugs..

  9. Hi Therese,
    You did NOT cause someone else’s sucide. They did did that to themselves. It was a choice they choose. No one can commit sucide by someone’s hand. You are not responsible.
    I love your web site. You are doing great work. Please do not listen to others who do not know what they are talking about.
    Thanks Much
    Pat

  10. Therese,
    Please continue to be your authentic self! You are amazing and your words have helped me so much with my daughter who struggles with depression and bipolar and who tried to commit suicide.
    How could anyone blame you for telling your story! I tell everyone about your blog because I have learned more from you than the many therapists, doctors and psychiatrists that I have talked with in the last 10 years!
    You are inspiring and I have you to thank for my own sanity!
    Thank you and please keep writing and sharing your story.

  11. I am so sorry Therese that you are going through this unfortunate situation. You are by no means, responsible for someone else suicide. I can’t believe there’s people out there going out of their way to hurt you. I hope those cruel mails stop soon. I have read your book, beyond blue, and it has helped me so much. I consider you a role model and know that you have helped me in infinite ways. May you feel better. Please stay well. Focus on all the people that you help merely by existing :)

    thanks,
    Brenda

  12. T
    God’s grace is big enough to handle all of this. … Let Him…and be at peace. Your faith walk has helped me for many years n I know it will continue to.
    Blessings from Nj beach ..Laurie

  13. Therese I feel really sad that you are allowing this person to blame you and take that on by shutting you down, while respecting your decision. We have the right to say what is true for us and we don’t know what the impact of that will be in anyway, so perhaps your decision is the best. I just feel really sad that it has meant you now feel less free to be honest.

    1. I agree with above comment. I recognise the feeling and reaction and trying to deal with others’ blaming for something you simply cannot be responsible for in any way (indeed, it is their irresponsibility to claim so) by withdrawal, but I’ve come to realise almost certainly that brave, very personal sharing of a journey amongst largely empathetic others does overwhelmingly more healing than anything else. The chance for reassessment is one positive but I do hope you are able to come through this into a renewed openness, knowing how much that more subjective approach is valued and appreciated over the vast amount of more objective ‘self-help’ out there. With gratitude, love and healing <3

  14. Dearest Therese;

    All the more reason for you to be on this planet! You have helped so many people, and you have said yourself – you cannot help everyone.

    I am going through a VERY rough time right now, and considering some significant life changes. In trying to make that decision, something I read said, “To find the job you are meant to do, what would you do for free?” In a nanosecond, the first thing that came to mind was work for Therese and/or the Beyond Blue Foundation!!!

    Be strong, Therese, as you have helped so many to be!!

    M

  15. Therese,
    You are a guiding light and an inspiration. You have continued to fight in the face of limitations from the mental health field. Through your perseverance, you are uncovering new pathways of hope…new avenues to explore. Thank you and God bless you. You are not to blame for how this illness manifests in others…to the contrary, you are a champion for finding a cure and building a community of compassion for all of us following your light. Xoxo

  16. What? You’re to blame for someone else’s actions? We and we alone are responsible for what we decide to do with our lives. Those who very sadly commit suicide have already decided to do it! I had a cousin who was 23 y/o when he decided to hang himself. Our family felt that we coulda done something…NO!!! Statistics show that these are our solitary thoughts and imbalance.

    I love reading your blogs about what you go through. I do not feel alone. I’m in the process of starting a blog because of you. Your defeats and triumphs push those of us who communicate with you.

    You’re not at fault and it is a horrible thing for anyone to accuse you of.

    God bless.

  17. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    What? You’re to blame for someone else’s actions? We and we alone are responsible for what we decide to do with our lives. Those who very sadly commit suicide have already decided to do it! I had a cousin who was 23 y/o when he decided to hang himself. Our family felt that we coulda done something…NO!!! Statistics show that these are our solitary thoughts and imbalance.

    I love reading your blogs about what you go through. I do not feel alone. I’m in the process of starting a blog because of you. Your defeats and triumphs push those of us who communicate with you.

    You’re not at fault and it is a horrible thing for anyone to accuse you of.

    God bless.

  18. Do not take on this “guilt”. We are all responsible for ourselves. This person may have attempted suicide more than once, and perhaps before you ever blogged. This person may have been bipolar and felt they no longer needed medication. You are not responsible for his or her personal decision to end their life. Only God knows what was in the mind of this individual at the time and what pushed him or her over the edge. That is between the individual and God alone. No one can or should blame you. Free your spirit of these guilt thoughts and put yourself in God’s hands. He alone is in control. God bless you.

  19. You can keep the whole thing for yourself. After reading you and trusting your knowledge, wasting my husband’s time in the office following you…..you ended up being an ignorant pseudo therapist against medication. Your idiotic “weening myself in two years”……so what? let’s say that you do get to function well when the two year’s mark arrives…then, whithout any medication in your system, you get a psychotic episode two weeks, two months later? start again with medication? If you would have said that you were trying to get a minimum of medication, enough to ensure that you won’t get…. you have stigma against your own illness,, that’s what’s going on. WE HAVE THIS FOREVER, you are irresponsible by suggesting this no meds is possible. very well you may cause somebody suicide alright. I can’t believe it.

    1. In response to Mary yo,
      You really cannot understand unless you have walked in someone else’s shoes. I understand that this is your husband but you are not the patient. Unfortunately, suffering with major depression for many years, I have seen how deeply it affects those around you. It is so difficult for everyone. But walking in those shoes and living with depression everyday, I know that sharing those experiences with others who struggle is a prescription in understanding that no doctor can offer.
      What works for one person may not work or another. I do not know the specifics of your situation. Something that I have learned in the last 20 years about psychiatric medication is that in many cases while it can be helpful, many psych meds have a long list of side effects that can sometimes outweigh the benefit of the drug itself. Many psychiatrists overprescribe medications and dosages, often leaving a patient feeling worse. There is so much still unknown about mental illness and psychiatric drugs. Those of us who live with this illness inside of us every single day need each other because, in all honesty and sincerity, others don’t ‘get it’. I do get your frustration because I have seen the pain it causes those around you. But please, please do not blame a brave person sharing her experiences. She never claimed to be a doctor or therapist. She unfortunately is a fellow patient and has every right to share. And you have every right to comment but I think you are throwing stones and hurtful words. We are here to support and help each other, please try and see that and don’t blame someone else because mental illness is forever and for all of the time we need each other.

      1. Well said. I have seen terrible harm from medications in the absence of any other alternative, including my own sister’s unsuccessful suicide attempt a few years ago. When googling some of the side affects of the meds she was on they included, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. It enrages me that meds are pushed so hard in some cases in the absence of any kind of other therapy or alternative of which there are many.

    2. Mary Yo,

      What is the deal?

      Therese is sharing her experiences to help others. She’s never forced it on others or insisted someone use it. She’s not claiming to be a therapist or a doctor. She’s one of us. Her desire is to help.

      Christine

    3. You sound pretty ignorant yourself. She’s never said ‘This is what I did, YOU should do it too.’ And guess what, some mental illnesses ARE treatable without meds. That’s her prerogative if she wants to try and live her life unmedicated–lord knows meds bring with them some horrible side effects that in my experience made them not worth it. Can you imagine being blamed for someone else’s death? Why don’t you think about that before posting such cruel, untrue and hurtful comments directed at Therese.

    4. Mary, while I obviously don’t know your situation I do Therese and your comments are way out of line. She has done nothing but provide encouragement and helpful guildance for thousands of people afflicted with mental illness, myself included. If you disagree with her please find someone else to seek help from, but do not try to minimize what she had done because you have a different perspective. Mental illness is an incredibly individual and personal issue. People find help and treatment in hundreds of different ways. If what she has offered doesn’t help you, please just move on without the personal, hurtful negative words.

    5. Speaking of psychotic episode … your ‘idiotic’ comment…

      Mental healing is not one size fits all.

      Perhaps your husband isn’t healing because (and I’m basing this on your one comment) he’s betrothed a wretch.

      Speaking of psychotic episode …

      1. To those of you replying to Mary, please stop.

        The negative responses will not help her feelings, and no one knows her life story.

        I know so many of us want to show Therese our support, but the negativity towards those like Mary is very “un-Therese-like”.

        Not that I am anyone you all should listen to, but Mary and her family are struggling with a painful situation.

        Be compassionate in your replies.

        Thanks!

        1. Maureen, you are so correct. And certainly to strike at another as such is definitely “un-Therese-like”. I’m sure it’s coming from a place where people feel very deeply for Therese who has, and is, a blessing for many of us. I know my initial reaction is to want to do the same because I believe in what Therese stands for and how much she tries to do for those of us who often find ourselves so stigmatized by society because of our “mental illness”. However, on the other hand, my heart goes out to Mary Yo. I send love and prayers for peace.

          I will add this. I just found Therese’ site this past Spring 2015. After being off medication for over a year and a half with my psychiatrist’s approval and help, I found the strength and courage to go back on some medication recently because I was having the heavy negative thoughts again. I have to credit Therese and the sharing of her journey for giving me the strength to do this. No, Therese never told me to go back on meds, neither directly or through her posts, videos, etc. Neither did she tell me not to go back on them when I posted that I needed to. She has always been very open, loving and supportive, acknowledging that we are all different and need different things. And as many of us know who have been reading her blog, etc., Therese always recommends talking with your doctor about your medication, seeking help immediately if you feel suicidal, etc.

          For those of us who have had suicides in our family or among our friends, sometimes the pain and grief is so much we feel the need to place blame somewhere or on someone. It’s happened in my family and among my friends. However, as someone who has been suicidal themselves, I know from the bottom of my heart and in the depths of my soul that this never fully relieves the grief. In fact, I’ve found that often family members were really blaming themselves. Friends too. Trying so hard to make sense of it all. Heartbreaking! Some were also horribly angry at the person who committed suicide. In fact, at a wake, a family member got up and expressed anger out loud to everyone there. Later on, I had to say to them as one who’s almost been there, it’s difficult to explain the level of inner pain and turmoil that brings you there. Just try to love them, forgive them and pray they are at peace, while at the same time acknowledging your anger and grief. I’m not advocating suicide; I’m hoping and praying for compassion. God knows I need to remind myself of that.

          Blessings!

    6. Just because you dont like or agree with one persons opinion and their own personal experiences to just tell them that they may very be reponsible for someones suicide is mean and spiteful! Therese has NEVER said she was against medication an in face made that clear in SEVERAL BLOG POSTS. Im sorry you are struggling but that doesnt give you the right to lash out at others who have had different experiences than you.

    7. What? Am I reading this right? Therese is not prescribing anyone take or not take anything. She is not a doctor and never claimed to be. She is not anti drug if that’s what works for you. If you disagree, don’t follow her, but don’t guilt her or blame her or shame her. What’s the point in that?!

  20. Therese,
    I’m sorry you’re getting such negative feedback on this. Did I miss it? Because I never saw anywhere, in any of your articles or books, where you advocated anyone quitting their meds just because you said so. You told your story. A story that rings true for a lot of us and offers valid alternatives to consider. It’s important to have all possible treatment options and stories out there. I appreciate you wanting to be responsible; however, I don’t believe you were being irresponsible.

    Yes, depression and bipolor d/o are “FOREVER” and, at the same time, that doesn’t mean that there is only one right way to deal with them. More and more we’re moving towards a holistic approach. In a large part because the mental health community understands the limitations of medications and is looking for adjacent and/or alternative therapies.

    We are all responsible for doing our own research, talking with our own supports and making our own decisions. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

  21. Therese,

    Unbelievable! So just because you shared the depths of your journey you’re responsible for someone deciding of their own accord to take their own life?! SHAME ON WHOEVER IS BLAMING YOU. And very sick too! It’s absolutely ridiculous. Unbelievable the stupidity of people to blame someone else. Sorry. I’m really pi$$ed off for you.

    I don’t blame you one bit for doing what you have to do to protect yourself and your family. It’s just a shame that people’s stupidity blinds them.

    In the end, truth reigns. Hopefully, your accusers will wake up. They certainly will have to give an account when their time here is done. We don’t live forever here.

    Peace to you.

  22. I am so sorry Therese that some people are erroneously blaming you for something their loved one did. I am assuming they want to blame someone else in their grief. You are so brave and have helped so many. We know that when sonwine takes their own life it is their iwn decision.

    You have created a safe place for ua to come and air our feelings with peers and it helps the majority of us to carry on, even just for a day at a time.

    I hope the blamers get the help they need to see the truth.

  23. How sad Therese, my therapist told me when people hurt you ask” what is their problem?”
    How often do we like to blame other people for our own actions. When I read your post re cutting down medication I was very interested because I cannot tolerate it and have to find other ways to stay alive.
    It would be a shame if other people are denied this experience. if you have ever read the book by Kay Redfield called ” Night falls fast. ” ( she is a psychatrist who suffered from bipolar) you can understand how complex a subject it is. When I Read her book I was feeling very suicidal but reading it didn’t make me chose one of her methods. From my own expience trying to commit suicide was a spontaneous act that happen in the switch of a light bulb and at other times I would plan it but did nothing. It is very unpredictable like many other things in life.
    I have taken medication that has made me feel more suicidal and even violent.
    Depression brings enough guilt – it is one of the symptoms.Please don’t take these comments to heart.This a community where we are able to share our views and our own journeys.
    Suicide is always so sad and a waste of life but what I got from your article was trying to find a holistic way to live. To maximise your health through diet and exercise and supplements and reducing stress so you could find the finite dose of medication to keep you well and reducing side effects. I think this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
    Lizzie

    PPP

  24. It is most unfortunate another has decided to blame you for an unfortunate series of actions which has occurred. I add my voice to those whom support you wholeheartedly. You have given a kind understanding to many, many who desperately can use your thoughts. Be well. Know you have the positive thoughts of many at your side to support you.

  25. I love you. I support.. People can be so rude and heaertless. They throw bricks – just walk on them. You are wonderful. and you have helped me so much on this journey. You have given me a better understanding and hope. Please keep your personal freedom and be the fierce, loving lioness that God made you to be. You serve a mission that you have chosen and serve it and the world very well. Live freely on your own terms – you matter, you inspire, you live and you have helped me and countless others to live. You are awesome! Keep writing all your thoughts in freedom.

  26. Dear Therese, as someone who has dealt with depression all my life, and PTSD since my son’s murder, as well as seeing my mother after she had committed suicide when I was 19, I can truly tell you that for all the good you do, there will always be someone trying to blame you for what has happened to a loved one.

    These incidents are not your fault. Human beings want to make sense out of senseless acts like murder or suicide of a loved one. It’s easier to blame someone than admit we just don’t know why it happened.

    But sooner or later we have to admit to ourselves that we are less in control of life than we think we are.

    Please don’t accept that blame or accept any guilt caused by it.

    You are a wonderful person trying to help others understand we are not alone and it’s okay to be us.

    Blessings and peace
    Cherlyn

  27. I find your blog and personal journey very relevant. I think most people here do as well. There will always be idiots who try to spoil things. I’m not calling people who are suicidal, idiots, only the people who hurt you with their anger as they are only looking at and reacting to one side of the picture. You are in a difficult position because people with depression suffer from distorted thinking. I appreciate when this is brought to my attention as I truly believe in the things I feel until it is pointed out to me that my perception is not always reality.

    I would love it if you reconsider your choice but maybe put up a cautionary warning at the beginning for people feeling suicidal to not continue reading, to unsubscribe and to contact a loved one or a hospital to get help.

  28. So sorry that the ignorance of some people who won’t accept responsibility for their own decisions is causing you such stress. I haven’t agreed with everything you’ve written, but so what. I don’t have to read anything you write do I? You keep writing and you keep helping the vast majority of people, cause you know that is what you were meant to do. Try your best to ignore the naysayers cause they’ll never go away. Thank you for being brave enough to be honest in all your writings and know that there are far more people pulling for you, then there are against you.

  29. Dearest Therese,
    You are NEVER ever responsible for someone else’s death! If someone commits suicide, that was his/her choice and where his mind was at that time. Think of all the people your article on medication has helped. I’ve read it and I’ve kept it. I haven’t committed suicide. I struggle with thoughts, but your articles are always helpful to me. I have a disease. My disease can trip me up, but I keep going.

    You are a wonderful human being sharing your experience to help! Please don’t feel discouraged. I’m so sorry this has happened. I think it goes along with being famous and dealing with depressed people. I can not imagine people writing you mail to say you had anything to do with this person’s death.

    I’m sorry this person committed suicide – what a tragedy he or she couldn’t continue to see the next possibility in science. It’s coming.

    Please keep your faith and hope Therese.

    Love,
    Christine

  30. Dear Therese, each person’s journey is their own, and their choices are theirs and they own those choices, despite whatever influences were there along the way, what they read, what they ate, how they were parented, what medication they are taking, the list is endless to that persons environment. Ultimately the choice to end their life and carry that act through was their own. I am sorry that you are taking it personally, and are believing what someone is saying in letters to you that you are somehow to blame or what you write is a contributing factor. I am sorry that your voice for mental Illness will be quieted down, because your openness about your journey and your pain has helped so many. Perhaps this is a step in your journey where you are needing some reflection and some time to grieve those lives that have been lost. Your readers will respect that and love you. We are all so very sorry for those lives that are taken by mental Illness. But that is what has happened here. God bless you Therese.

  31. Therese,
    You have helped me and my family beyond measure. I am sorry that others are “heaping ashes on your head”. The work you do is very courageous and you are a strong, honest woman. While I respect your decision, I do feel it is a shame that you have been “guilted” into silence. God’s peace to you, and God’s blessings on your work.
    Susan

  32. Dear Therese, I’m sorry you get mail from people blaming you for their inability to get help for the,selves or their family members. Yes, it’s sad that those people chose to end their lives, however, their choices are in no way YOUR FAULT.
    I respect your choice, just sad that you receive such hate mail when all you do is try to help us.

    Prayers, Barb

  33. Dear Therese,

    I am very sorry to hear you took those mails so personally. Knowing you as a very courageous and determined person I suspect that you might be going through a difficult period at the moment which makes it hard for you not to get negatively impacted by these very personal attacks. If so I wish you to get back in the saddle soon. All will pass, and this difficult period will do too.

    Needless to say, those “personal aspects of your journey”, that you consider keeping to yourself from now on, are exactly what makes your story and your character look real to me. Stripped off of these your blog might lose its very soul. So I pray for this not to happen. Remember, for every petty mudslinger there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, followers who need your blog posts just as they are – written out of personal experience and with personal touch.

    Peace!

  34. Therese,

    I know that that the kinds of unwanted mail you have been receiving might be upsetting but I continue to believe that the chatter is a tool use to silence those of us who struggle with mental illness. It’s a way to keep us quiet.

    When you are in the public eye as you are, there will always be those who criticize. In fact, I have observed that the bigger impact one is making, the louder the pushback seems. However, you help so many more than you help! Please don’t mold yourself through the eyes of outside lens, for your authenticity and willingness to be open about your own Journey is what makes you so special.

    Stay the course…

  35. I am so sorry for your terrible feedback when your journey of hope has been so helpful to so very many. As a nurse clinical nurse specialist in the field of palliative medicine and mental health care it is imperative to understand that you are never responsible for anyone’s suicide. I too learned that the hard way. Focus on the lives you save and remember your mission and clear direction clearly is to save lives and share where to receive help. It’s all clearly on your site. Those who suicide will do regardless of your site. Your site and your journey saves lives clear and simple

  36. Therese,
    You need to do what is best for you. I visit your website at least once a week. You have helped me and my family more than you can imagine. Thank you for all that you do. Please, please keep it up.
    Claire

  37. Oh my goodness—-my heart is so saddened to hear you say this. The fact that you could be left with any feelings, other than encouraged, after ALL that you have done for us people that have to deal with mental illness. I could truly cry for you. I want you to know, that I have tried so many treatments (TMS, ECT) and so many different combinations of medications but I have never disciplined myself enough to do the things that you have accomplished. I am just about at the point of asking you—-how and where you got the input to ‘fight’ your battle against MDD. I hope that if I do contact you, you will be able to respond to me privately or point me in the direction of where you got your information about struggles with non-responsive depression. You are a hero, in my opinion, that has accomplished sooooooo much and still has so much to offer. Please see the beautiful sunshine you sprinkle among people like myself. I don’t know you, but I do love you and pray for God’s strengthening as this much be so very painful. You know the truth about being responsible for another’s actions—–never true!!!!!

  38. Therese,

    Wow, to hear that you’re being blamed for something that is clearly not your fault makes me really sad. We cannot be responsible for anyone but ourselves and the fact that someone is blaming you for their loved one’s suicide is them reaching out for someone they can point to because their loved one would “never do that.”

    I can totally respect you not wanting to put yourself out there so much – at least not right now. Being vulnerable is hard! It’s taking a risk and when there’s a fear of being rejected or blamed or made fun of, it’s awfully hard to do. Your post makes sense to me, yet I still hope you’ll put yourself out there again when you feel safe to do so.

    I’m in the camp who loves the fact that you’re not some “unknown person in my computer.” You respond to people when you can, you have put yourself out there and you are just plain-out real.

    Perhaps in the future you’ll change your mind, but if not, you’re still adored here. I can only speak personally, but I thank you for listening to us, your readers, and leading us towards hope.

  39. You are an Inspiration therese. You have helped so many people in the world. I don’t know if it helps but I believe as you know sometimes there is a disbalance in the brain that causes many problems depression been one. I know environmental depression is another case, but I am a Christian and I believe that God created everyone of us but for some reason as we grow our bodies/minds alter. Some of us grow to be fortunate others arn’t so lucky. I believe biology plays a part. This person that took their life probably had a disbalance in his/her brain chemistry. You are definately not to blame. I have read alot of your blogs as I struggled with depression in the past when I was young and I have only ever got inspiration and positive advice from your blogs. Please don’t let this stop you reaching out to others the world needs your realism in approaching depression topics, the doctors can tell you what ever they like but it’s something else hearing it from somebody who has lived, breathed and survived depression :-)

  40. Responsibility, those people that accused you should have taken responsibility of looking after there loved one and keeping them safe when there loved one was unwell. I agree with the other comments these people are grieving and confused.

  41. Dear Therese,

    You SAVED my life.

    And I’m sure countless others. I read your book Beyond Blue in one weekend when I was at one of my lowest points. I have two copies, one that sits on my nightstand and reminds me everyday that I can keep fighting, and another that I lend to people when they want to understand more about what I’m going through.

    I pray that you can give this one over to God and pray that St. Therese can help you find some peace through all of this.

    United in more ways than one,
    Michelle

  42. You do what you have to do Therese. You deserve nothing but positive feedback. I am incredibly impressed with how you have chosen to tackle your demons and, at the same time, reach out to and help so many others.
    Thank you for what you do.
    Awhile back you mentioned that you had a few copies of Beyond Blue. Is there any chance I would be able to get one.
    Just so you know, I didn’t write the first paragraph so I could write the second!
    Jan

  43. Dear Therese,

    I am one of many who have followed you for years. In my lifelong battle with depression and the desire to die, I have done so much searching for help in understanding what is wrong. I’ve found a lot of help, but you hold a most special place in my journey because, since I first found Beyond Blue, you have been consistent, you have been true and real, you have been present day after day, week after week, year after year. You have shared your tiniest sparks of hope when you have felt so little along with your journey of self-discovery and recovery. And you have been so funny! It’s been exciting to read your newest adventure in healing, yet as your well-being has increased you have continued to acknowledge how very difficult this is for so many of your readers, never forgotten that there are many modalities of healing, many paths to recovery. It is humbling, in my life, to find my best efforts are not helpful, may be taken as harmful, to someone I care for – as you so obviously care for your followers. Yet the good remains. There are so many factors involved in what people do; you are but one. Depression hurts so much in so many ways and is so exhausting, and sometimes suicide seems the only way out to one who has suffered and struggled so hard with so little good outcome. Peace and mercy to those who have to live on when that act is successful.

    You have helped me on my path to a more fulfilling life. I thank you for all you have done and wish you continuing recovery and happiness.

  44. Hi Therese-
    Oh man — I can hear your hurt and pain in this post. I understand your decision and won’t pressure you to change it unless and until you are ready. But, for what it is worth, I feel like you always go out of your way to express the fact that you are not anti-medication, that you are exploring options and trying to find the balance that works for you and sharing that journey with us. The invitation from you is for people to perhaps begin a similar journey of exploration IF what they are doing already is NOT helping. But there is no reasonable way that anyone could interpret your writings as advocating any one choice over another. You encourage people to ask questions if they have them, find doctors or therapists who will listen and guide them, and generally be as willing as they are able to seek out the help and relief they deserve.

    I am praying for your heart to be healed by the same peace and love you so generously give to this community.
    Kelly

  45. Hi Therese. what you want to share is up to you. From the comments here you can see that you’ve got a pretty gigantic support base of people who love your work. So take it easy and when you change your mind all of us will be here to cheer you on.

  46. Dearest Therese,

    Please know that your sharing your personal journey is one of very few resources that literally keeps me going everyday!

    Not only do I relish every word you publish in your blogs, books, and in Project Beyond Blue, I share your writings with the world!!

    I am devastated to read your most recent post.

    Our society has become so very entangled with “the blame-game”, throwing personal accountability out-the-window. Perhaps “said” individuals who are blaming you for the loss of their loved ones are the very reason their loved ones were in such hopeless despair to begin with?

    Please do reconsider your decision, dear Therese. You have saved so many! You save me on a daily basis!

    Please consider the source of these “nasty” emails. Are the “claims” authentic? Have these individuals even read your work? Rather are they members of the online “troll” population that “bully” others on every online “playground” we call our “home”?

    Sending you much love and heartfelt gratitude for ALL that you do. 🌻

  47. RE:
    mary yo
    September 27, 2015 at 5:14 am

    This comment appears to be provided by an online “troll” who feeds on the pseudo-“power” behind the veil of an anonymous keyboard. The lack of grammar, haste in which it was composed and obvious lack of knowledge surrounding the actual content of Therese’s writing, this comment immediately registers as a” red flag” (questionable) in my book.

  48. I cannot sit by and not join the chorus. Ms. Borchard, your writing has been a source of inspiration and hope for me. Please know that your work has/is changing lives for the better. Very sincerely yours.

  49. Therese, I’ve been reading you for years. You have made me laugh, cry and yes hope. I have seen your despair. I have worried about whether you would be okay this time or not. I have seen you come back fighting.
    I think as a public person you are at risk in ways that we who share your journey are not. And I respect your need to protect yourself and your family.
    However, your decision affects us all. If you can’t tell it faithfully, how can I feel free to express myself? Or does this decision only affect your public postings and not those protected by a login?

  50. It sounds like anyone that has ever read your work agrees. You are a bright shining light to the world, to millions that live in darkness everyday. Anybody who thinks otherwise is a confused twit.

  51. One last thing. You wonder why everyone is backing you. Why I say you a bright shining light. It’s because you give people HOPE that you can live with depression – your living proof and maybe just maybe there are brighter days around the corner even if these brighter days don’t last forever and they are accompanied with not so bright days. One of my favourite articles you wrote was about how your feelings can change hour to hour day to day. I don’t have bipola But I often feel like this. I thought I was the only one in the world till I read that article.

  52. In response to mary yo
    September 27, 2015 at 5:14 am

    I suggest you get somebody to help you interpret therese’s information. I believe you have misinterpreted what she has written. therese has always communicated in all her writing that one size definately does not fit all and everybodies situations are different and there treatment plans will be different. When you understand I hope you apologise for your unkind message.

    Regards
    Ally

    1. OMG, OMG, OMG, Bipolar First, Bipolar Together, what you wrote on your blog is so totally absitively, posilutely WONDERFUL. I am jumping up and down with joy. Bless you!

  53. Therese
    I don’t think you are responsible because of what you share in any way for the decisions of others. I don’t think there should be any guilt or self blame. Please focus on the many that have been helped by your sharing. Instead of this one suicide,think of the many that have held on to your words and decided against suicide. It isn’t easy putting out thoughts that can be misinterpreted or internalized. We do the best we can hoping that our words will support, encourage and motivate a person to find help or take comfort that another person understands.
    You have provided a safe place for people. Please don’t allow one situation to color all that you have accomplished.

  54. Therese,
    I am beyond sorry that you are being blamed for a tragedy over which you had no control.

    The mental health community needs you. You have a large audience you can reach and you should speak to it honestly. You can not and are not responsible for the actions of one person. As you know, reaching the place where you not only feel suicidal, but act upon the feeling, is a desperate place to be. I don’t believe that there is blame to be placed, but if the blame game must be played, it can not be placed with you.

    You share your experiences with us, so that we know that we are not alone. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be blamed for this situation, and obviously you will have to make the decision that is best for you.

    The bipolar community needs your voice. I hope you decide to allow us to hear it.

  55. This is what I wrote on my blog and what I should have said to you in the first place.

    Every day, we come here and share the depths of ourselves in this space. Every day I tell all of you more then I tell anyone else, except my therapist. Every day I’m sure I say something that someone could use as justification to end their life.

    Now, since it hasn’t happened that way with something I have written, it’s easy for me to sit here at my keyboard and say that I would continue on, sharing my experiences and try to push through without changing. The truth is that it would change me. But, if we let it change the sharing of our personal stories, we will never get anything done. It will be harder for us to get better because we won’t have that easy proof that we are not alone. And we will not take away the stigma of our disease because we won’t be willing to talk about it.

    I can not imagine the difficulty of going on and sharing your experiences. But I also can’t imagine how we move forward as a community if we fail to be honest with ourselves and one another.

    Please think about it.

  56. Pingback: Who am I? |
  57. Totally agree with bipola first bipola together blog. Totally accurate and True. We have to be honest otherwise how can we help each other.

  58. I was so sad to see this post. You have helped me so much recently. Being able to talk to others dealing with the same thing, or when I’m really down and feeling anti-social, just being able to read you and others experiences has been very comforting. You help people not feel alone. I appreciate you sharing your journey. You are not some quack trying to convince people to do things based upon what you have read or what you learned in school. You are just relating your personal experience. As a person who had drugs turn from being a bit helpful into causing my illness to get worse, I really really appreciate you talking about your own journey towards getting off of all medications. I spend a lot of time researching. And time after time, the studies show that medication is not effective long-term. On some level we all know this. Who has stayed on the same medication for more than 5 yrs? 10yrs? 20? Does your dose keep needing to be upped? Do they stop working all together? And now lets talk about side-effects. Can we all relate to not being able to have an orgasm? That’s like kicking someone when they’re down. How about dry mouth, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, heart palpitations, dizziness, insomnia, extreme lethargy and the list goes on. Do medications help people? Well almost all of us can say at one time, one or more have helped at least temporarily. But I am willing to bet most if not all of us who have taken meds for more than 10-20 yrs can say that they do not keep working and actually end up making us worse. So having you share how you have gotten off of some of them by using alternative therapies is SO IMPORTANT. What about the lives you save because you are giving people hope? People who have gone through med after med after med. And they either feel the same or worse. What about those people who are contemplating suicide because they are told medication is the only answer to their illness. Yet they stop working. And now they feel hopeless. What about those people. Please don’t stop sharing your story and all the details. Maybe you’ll add in a few disclaimers or remind people of your history with medications and the reason you are pursuing alternative therapies so they don’t jump to conclusions. But please shake this off and keep sharing. Much love to you Therese. Thank you.

  59. I am so sorry you feel you can’t be open and share your journey. The guilt of feeling responsible for other’s actions can be sooooo consuming, it can really through you for a loop you cannot surpass or rise from.
    That’s one reason you are here today! That’s one reason you chose to help others… Your way of helping is sharing of your journey, your learnings along the way in hopes that each person finds hope! What more can you do? Many many have found hope in the “family community” you gave life to…
    If not every single person has found that hope, it is not something you personally are accountable for. People have come here already with no hope! There’s not a lot more down someone can be, is there?
    Live in your hope! Keep sharing your personal journey! Don’t be lonely and lose yourself in the size and magnitude in which you can reach others! You can’t reach EVERYONE, but even ONE is worth your sharing…just one..
    Keep your faith, your mission, and keep grounded…
    We are all responsible for ourselves… We can only hope to help others… God bless…

  60. Dear Therese
    I just joined your site today and am very grateful for someone like you to take on such a huge project as this. I see you have shown a lot of strength and encouragement to so many. Please don’t change your plans over this as the negative responses are from people possibly in a darker place in their life than some of us. God said, judge not or lest ye be judged! Shame on those who try to blame you or anyone else for the choices that some individuals make. We are ALL here to try to help and encourage each other. It is unfortunate that others try to blame anyone but their self for poor choices made. Finding a place like this to vent, ask or share was an answer to my prayers. Suicide is a product of that individual who made the choice to a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Things that you may have shared are YOUR experience and yours only. Its not like one shoe fits all. It is up to us as individuals to take responsibility for what we use from this site and how we choose to use it. Our perception of things can be distorted at times, but if we search and pray and LISTEN we can all benefit. Let us not pass blame to anyone but pray and share our experiences. I am learning that helping others automatically helps our selves. Again, the decision to take ones own life is THEIRS and theirs alone. Instead of judging, we need to share in the sadness of a lost life. Blaming others is just a poor copout. We are here to LOVE one another.
    Bless you Therese and keep up the good work. We can’t please all of the people all the time. We can only try as we are human.

    Love & Respect
    William

  61. I am William, the person who wrote the comments October 9 2015. At this time I want to qualify myself for being here. My experience: Severe depression, OCD, Severe anxiety, Agoraphobia to the point of being housebound for years, Alcohol abuse, Pot abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Lastly, blaming everything and everyone else for my afflictions. Every day is a new day and we have the potential to make it a better one. Its our choice.

  62. Therese, I am so sorry that you have experienced something so negative from sharing from your heart. The reason that I have enjoyed your blog so much is that you have been real about your journey. So many people suffering from depression hide their disease from others. You have been open and honest which is so refreshing and helps others to feel less alone. Please continue.

  63. Hi, Mrs. Borchard.

    I pity that u have decided to keep parts of your journey to yourself due to some mails you have received. For me, I personally appreciate ur honesty and openness about your personal battles and how you have overcome them. Please continue sharing… Your articles on your own personal journey have helped me too to understand better about many things, they even help me admit my own weakness and proneness , and to empathize with my mother who has been battling mental illnesses too.

    I agree with other readers, e.g : Joy, Shelby, D, to support you continuing to share your journey.

    Best regards from Indonesia.

  64. Hi, Therese. I have not followed your journey and this is my first visit here, referred by a post on Tessa’s blog. I have read the lengthy list of comments here and it seems to me that your openness and honesty have helped so many. I really do hope you reconsider your decision and not allow misplaced blame to silence your voice. In general, I think our society has forfeited accountability and personal responsibility. It also seems that genuine compassion is dying. It’s sad, really. I just felt compelled to offer my support and to let you know that you’re in my prayers. I imagine it must be devastating to be burdened with such an accusation, but I hope your attention will turn to those you have helped, encouraged and given hope. I’ve read these comments: your words mean something to many.

  65. We are not responsible for the actions of others. Reading your articles helped lead me to a bipolar diagnoses. All these years I had no idea the death thoughts I experienced, others also have. I thought it was just a normal part of life. I hope you can continue to tell your story…it also saves people!

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